Mateo's Birth Story
A note: This is a tender subject for me and arguably the most vulnerable thing I have ever shared online. It is my hope that you will hold space for my processing journey, as it has been healing for me to write about. I ask for your energetic care while reading.
In honor of Mother’s Day, I have decided to share the story of how I became a mother.
Birth is special and sacred. It is the most powerful thing I have ever done. Years before my son Mateo was born, I had done a lot of research on the magic of birth. I would spend hours watching all kinds of birthing videos. It was all so epic and anyone who does it, no matter how they do it, is my hero.
It was originally in a child development class in high school where I was introduced to the term water birth. The women around me who’d given birth mostly did it in a hospital setting surrounded by doctors. It stood out to me that there were so many different ways to give birth, but I decided that I wanted to have a water birth whenever the time came for me.
I held onto this vision and dream for years. From the research I had done, my strongest feelings were that I did not want to have an induced labor. Overall, I said that what mattered most to me was both my safety and my baby’s safety.
As we know, life does not always go according to plan. What we think is going to happen probably is not. Sometimes it is still painful to come to terms with, but I know that I did the hardest thing I will ever do, and I would do it all again for him.
My sweet Mateo.
This is the story of how he made his entrance into the world.
Mid November, Jacob and I went in for a late term ultrasound of our baby at the birth center where we planned to give birth to Mateo. We had switched care halfway through my pregnancy after moving from Bend back to our hometown. While it was hard to leave the midwives we had gotten to know and the birth center we found in Bend, I felt hopeful that we had picked the right place to welcome our son. The midwives at the new birth center told us that our baby was measuring 5 weeks ahead, so they wanted to do an ultrasound to assess.
The ultrasound technician was quiet and cold that day. He had been our technician before, but this time felt different. The energy in the room felt tense. I looked at the screen beside me, and tried to make out what I was seeing.
Finally, after what felt like an eternity, I asked, “Is that the baby’s heart?’
To which the ultrasound technician replied, “Yeah, I am just trying to figure out what is wrong with it.”