Aka my beautiful best friend, my bean, my soulmate friend.
It is an absolute honor to share my Leo Queen bee bestie with all of you. Bekah is a bold, vibrant force, and she is changing the world one day at a time. Read her story to be moved by all that she is, and all that she will become.
What is your name and what lights you up? Hello! My name is Rebekah (she/her). I am newly 28 (leo szn baby), in the midst of my Saturn return. I am delighted to be in a dream position as the director of development at a therapeutic riding center as well as a certified therapeutic riding instructor. I am a cat mom to my Siamese baby Sassafras, Sassy for short, who absolutely lives up to her name. I live in Austin, Texas with my 3 amazing roommates going on 4 years strong (in this economy, you gotta get creative!) I also have the best girlfriend, who is the love of my life.Â
My passions, you ask? Oh, let me tell ya. My escape from all the noise of life has always been horses. They are my safe place. My peace. Countless hours of my life have been spent flying through fields, jumping lessons, showcasing hard work at competitions, cleaning stalls, kissing soft noses, shedding tears into manes, and talking out loud to oh so patient ears. Something about gaining mutual trust with a giant, powerful, magnificent creature has healed my soul in ways I can’t put into adequate words. Since I was a young one, I wanted that essence of freedom to bleed into the rest of my life, but for a long time there was a disconnect of making that a reality.
Where does your story begin? Oh where to start... Pastor’s kid, home-schooled, horse girl. Oh yes, let your mind run wild with that combination. My younger self was a dichotomy of a painfully awkward, quiet, and shy little girl mixed with a loud, dynamic, rebellious individual. As I have gotten older, I have learned to lean into both. I used to look at one as my weakness and one as my strength. Growing up as a pastor’s kid, I struggled with the exhaustion of constantly being under a microscope. As I felt a sense of relentless judgement from outside eyes, somehow I also felt completely invisible at the same time. I grew up very sheltered and I felt like I didn’t have my own voice.
What initially kicked off that journey for me was making a spontaneous (and possibly a little reckless at the time) decision to move across the country by myself to Texas after my first year of college. This was 2016; it feels like a lifetime ago. My amazing best friend, IZZY ROCK, accompanied me in my stuffed to the brim blue VW bug on a road trip from Oregon all the way to Texas. Slowly but surely, I started giving myself permission to LIVE! One tattoo turned into twenty-five. I’ve shaved my head. I’ve quit a job without a backup plan. I went to my first concert that turned into music festivals and a bajillion more. I could go on! The moral of the story is that I finally felt that timid little girl transforming into the confident person that I always wanted to be.Â
I came out to myself as queer at 23 years old. Not too long after, I was outed to my family in an ugly way by an ugly person before I was ready. Before this, for my whole life, my body was foreign and scary to me. Talking about sexuality was hard, uncomfortable and felt like there was a blockage. The younger me was told that I would grow up, fall in love with a boy, get married, and have kids. Easy peasy, right? Ha! At first, I was infatuated with the thought of this predetermined future path. I would cling to any ounce of hope that my life would change into anything other than the deep rooted helplessness and frustration that I harbored inside. However, I somehow simultaneously always cringed at the thought of living the cookie cutter life that was expected (said and unsaid) of me from the cis-hetero Christian woman perspective. It felt like fighting a battle that I didn’t know how to win. I didn’t feel at home within myself, and really didn’t even like myself for that matter. So, I dated a few boys. I poured pieces of myself into them that I’ll never get back. I searched for things that I somehow knew I wouldn’t find but still looked anyway. I truly lost myself for awhile in a shame-ruled mindset trying to be someone for them that I wasn’t. Coming out was more of a coming home for me. Everyone in my life watched me become more alive than ever.Â
Trauma and shame have a way of creating a righteous anger in your soul that demands to be heard and to be seen in all its messiness. I eventually began therapy in early 2019 and haven’t stopped since! Through that initial beginning process, I understood that I owed it to myself to search deep into places that I was scared to go if I wanted to begin the healing process. Eventually, I fell in love with getting to know myself in ways that I hadn’t been able to before. I fell in love with becoming who I’ve been put on this Earth to be. A significant piece of that process was diving into Astrology, by being able to see visual road maps of validation and understanding of myself and others. Now, studying birth charts and helping others understand theirs has become a passion of mine. There’s just something about the endless tap of knowledge from which I can constantly discover and learn about the endless complex layers of it all, and then share it with the people around me.Â
I have days filled with joy and laughter, and days where I still feel small and meaningless. As is life! I am human! How beautiful is that? I’m still learning the dynamic magnitudes of what it means to love myself and honor my needs. There are moments where I think I cannot possibly go any further, moments where it feels like I am moving backwards, but surely life would be as dull as a doorknob without all the many hills and valleys that come with it. What a beautiful thing to have come this far. And what’s the thing it all has in common? Starting. Somewhere. I look back on all of these things and everything else I can’t fit in one post and marvel at how brave and incredible it is to begin something new and see where it takes you.Â
What is something you wish people knew about you? I LOVE interior design, cleaning, and organization. It really does something for me and is so rewarding when I need somewhere to channel my energy. Recently I spent an entire Saturday cleaning and organizing our nightmare of a garage for fun and had a great time doing it. My roommates thought I was crazy. I always say in another life I would be an interior designer. Whenever I need background noise or something to watch, it’s usually a design or renovation show. I love helping friends design their spaces and organizing them to be efficient. Need help decorating? I’m your girl. I would totally be a personal shopper, but for home decor.Â
What chapter of your story are you writing right now? Taking a higher position of leadership at my job! It’s been quite the shift and learning curve for me. It’s finding my voice in a new way that is completely uncharted territory for me. It’s been thrilling, but scary at times, too. I’m learning how to ask for help more, instead of trying to do everything myself.Â
What are you most proud of yourself for right now? I built my cat a DIY litter box cabinet out of a Facebook Marketplace dresser I found. Cut out the bottom drawers and hinged the fronts to be a door, cut a hole in the side and installed a cat door. Call me Bob the builder.Â
Is there anything you are particularly loving these days? Janelle Monae’s new album (& old too). Financial Feminist podcast. Untamed by Glennon Doyle.Â
Where do you see yourself in the next five years? My girlfriend and I want to buy a fixer upper and make it our own. We will be engaged, and living our best gay lives. Speaking it!Â
Do you have anything to promote? My therapy ranch! Healing with Horses Ranch! I run all the social media for it, coordinate events and fundraising. If you want to learn more about therapeutic riding, or follow our naughty & nice horse of the week — it’s the place to be. I love what I do and would love to take anyone along for the ride (pun intended). You can find us @healingwithhorsesranch on Instagram, TikTok, & Facebook.Â
Thank you for reading this wonderful human’s life story in this month’s Q&A (it’s her birthday month, so it is an extra special one). I hope you are inspired by her as I am every single day. What a wonderful thing it is to be brave, take risks, and see where life takes you. All while doing it with so much grace and love. This will always be one of my favorite interviews. I’m so glad I got the chance to share Bekah with all of you.
Take good care,
Isabel
I LOVE YOU!!!!!